A lil pick me UP ...

its been a while since I have done a entry. Lets see my birthday has come and gone and that was uneventful. Nothing much really happened.. I went and got a haircut and I did have a date. The day lacked something not sure what that is as of yet. Sigh.. Later on that week I did get a gift, after someone stole my iPhone.. Bastard... may he burn in the 5th level of hell.. but anyway, I downloaded the new iOs6 and was able to retrieve my old information. That was a huge gift, because there were numbers I no longer had and some other private information that was stored on the phone... Long story short I reached out to a few people that I know ( I dont like to use the word friend anymore, its kinda like a dirty word. People dont really know the true definition of that word.. Ive also realized people arent genuinely interested in friendship, they are looking for ways to better themselves by using you.) Anyway, I found out that I am not the only person going through things. At times we as people feel as if we are the only ones down and out and being dragged. Pause. God sends things into your life at the right time. I found out that a few friends were unemployed still or recently let go from their companies. I stopped and for a second and sat with that... I have only me to contend with, and though there were some dark moments this year. You know deciding if going to work for the week or eating was important. Yea the economy is placing people in that direction. Eating is now a luxury and its tougher as a citizen in this country to get any type of help, especially if you are a man. Isnt it crazy we are all taught "go to college, get an education. it will open so many doors for you." either that or it seems to close doors or in an economy like this belittle who you are and what you bring to the table as a worker. I mean if you have a degree you are competing with people who have the same if not more education than you. This places the employer with the upper hand.They can definitely lower their price because what you may not be willing to work for, someone else is willing to do that and more for less. I am not sure I blame politicians or its just a natural occurence of how history seems to play itself out. I listen to older people say "this is natural, you have to ride the wave but eventually it has to come down." So we are on the down of it, yet this time there are far more educated on the back end of it and the end doesnt seem to be coming quick enough. I am thankful for one thing. I have only myself to be concerned with. A lot of people have children to worry about. Its tough because these are two family homes, dual income homes in this economy is still tough to contend with. Once one of those incomes dsiappears it makes it even more tough. Theres nothing you can say. I mean the depression you go in and out of must be numbing most times. When you have little ones you have to be strong for them, for your spouse.. yet inside you are breaking down. To be honest the worse thing I hear on my own end is " just hang in there" or "it gets better" ... What people fail to realize is, I know that. That everyday is different. Some days you are so pumped, amped even to get out there meet people, network and pass out your resume. Than there are the lows where you look in the mirror and feel less than. Those are the days that you have to dig deep because you feel lost, hopeless and those just hang in there, doesnt make it better at all. At all.. So to those who are in my shoes or wearing even bigger ones... I feel you, I am with you.. And I wont give you the cliche speeches cause they are POINTLESS.. I will say this, find a piece of music you love. Meditate, it may not feel like much but it works. Go for a walk, shit have a drink! Not the whole bottle, hell just half.. But learn to do soemthing that makes you happy because you need the balance to find the peace..